Apparently the way to counter criticism that Guantanamo Bay is an affront to everything I learned about the US from that Daily Show book (Sample: "If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress? Or did I just blow your fucking mind?") is to allege that the heavily sedated, strapped, head-bagged, confined, sleep-deprived inmates are picking on the guards and making them cry. Apparently, they grab them from the "beanholes". That's the little slot where they slide the gruel. It must really sting.
Again, I only seem to be able to concentrate on things I find silly. In this case, the fact that the spork is finally getting the respect it is due.
"Look out!", screamed Bruce Willis, diving across the table, double Glocks blaring an unremitting tattoo of death "He's packing spork!"
You may think this is a kind of pissweak attempt to spin illegality into a mission for democracy, but perhaps you weren't aware those Gitmo psychopaths also carry iguana tails. And have been known to spank guards with flip-flops. Those fucking war criminals.