I ask you this: is it fair that I've gone back to uni, voluntarily adopting poverty and possibly penury also, and yet somehow have not chosen an area where women want to sleep with me?

Discuss, noting any self-serving elisions and misstatements designed to elicit undeserved sympathy as necessary.

Also, how about those storms, eh? It's a bit concerning when you get photographs from family and friends explaining that your favourite surf break is now a bit...bigger.